Agreeing to Date Isn't Agreeing to Marry- Marry Well ? The Lodge

Jan 7, 2013 | 12 comments

by Motte Brown

One of the downsides to the courtship approach to marriage is the level of seriousness and pressure it seems to bring to potential relationships. People seeking to be more intentional about their path to marriage worry that once they take the first step, their only option is to take all the remaining steps to the altar.

When you sign up for Marry Well, you make a commitment to approach marriage with intentionality. However, that doesn?t mean you are agreeing to marry everyone you approach. And it doesn?t mean that you?re agreeing to date everyone you contact.

We understand that beginning with the goal of marriage in mind can be intimidating. It can also prove prohibitive to the very thing you?re trying to achieve if you don?t put it in the proper perspective.

Part of approaching marriage with intentionality means being careful not to imply more commitment than is there with your words or actions. Far too many Christians fall into dating with no end in sight and as a result, their emotional (and physical) connection quickly begins outpacing their clarity of communication.

However, some Christians are so fearful of harming their brother or sister in Christ that they won?t make a move unless they are absolutely certain he or she is the ?one?. This leads them to limit their focus to a select few matches or at worst, inaction altogether. Either way they may be missing out on a great connection.

This is particularly true of online dating.

Deciding whether a potential match is marriage material can be more complicated online than when meeting in person. Your impressions of their personality, appearance and overall attraction are affected by the limitations of communicating with just a picture and paragraph. A more comprehensive picture will eventually come into view, but you have to be willing to make?an initial?investment. And that begins?by taking a risk and opening the door in the first place.

The purpose of an intentional path to marriage is to help you avoid the detours and dead-ends of the random relationship paths around you. But you can take initial steps without committing to take the big step to marriage at this point. You can still enjoy the journey of exploring potential while saving the big decision of marriage for a later time.

So we want to say that it?s okay to be friendly. Don?t be afraid to contact or respond to someone you?re not absolutely sure about. Because it?s the only way you?re going to be sure.

This article was originally published by Marry Well on July 9, 2010.

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Source: http://lodge.marrywell.org/2013/01/agreeing-to-date-isnt-agreeing-to-marry/

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